Yulemas morn

Yulemas morning.

All was still about the house, nothing was stirring, not even a mouse. Except a Rabbit.

And a Jon.

And also an Upgrade.

The three of them could hardly fall into stasis with how jittery they were. This Yulemas, they all thought to themselves, was going to be the best one yet. The Spine hadn’t been seen emerging from the Hall of Wires yet and Hatchworth was down in the kitchen singing to himself about soup whilst making turkey and eggnog sandwiches for later with a little sprig of holly jammed into his stove pipe.

Dawn broke and the three automatons came flying down the stairs. Unfortunately Rabbit misplaced a copper foot and went careering down the stairs bringing down The Jon and Upgrade into a messy heap of limbs. Not that it hurt. They all found it incredibly funny. As did Mr Reed, Matt and Sound Engineer Steve who weren’t too far behind them. And of course Lil Steve who was under strict instructions to not offer anyone Yulemas headbutts under any mistletoe, even if said mistletoe was on his bandana.

“Rabbit, you should be more careful!” Michael chided playfully, ruffling Rabbit’s bandana.

“H-h-hey! Don’t do dat! I can’t see, y-ya b-b-butt!” Rabbit laughed, rearranging it back in place so that it wasn’t covering any optics. Rabbit had ensured it was quite a festive bandana this year with a white fluffy trim and a ball of white fur at the end of the tails. The joke a few weeks before about the trim being ‘rabbit fur’ didn’t go down too well, for obvious reasons.

Everyone settled around the huge metal tree in the first living room. It was beautifully decorated with spare power cores and brass cogwheels – which came as a surprise when the bots weren’t unnerved at how these decorations were all technically robot innards, but with no discernible complaints it was still considered festive in its own kooky way.

The Walter workers soon joined them in jammies and fluffy slippers as opposed to lab uniforms which was a pleasant touch for a change and Peter VI shambled down the stairs grunting in response to any Yulemas greetings. Yeah, too early to be functional for Petes.

“But I wanna open one nowwww!” Rabbit protested with a sulky pout, eyeing up a particularly shiny looking gift.

“No Rabbit, we must wait for Mister The Spine, you know that!” Hatchworth responded sternly, arms folded, “We always take it in turns opening presents. That way we don’t run out and you’re both not left there with nothing to open whilst we finish.”

“But he’s taking foreverrr!” The Jon chimed in as Hatchworth plucked a red ribboned box from his brass fingers to place it neatly back under the tree.

“Yeah actually he is, I thought he liked Yulemas morning?” Upgrade pondered. It was true, an hour had already passed and it wasn’t like The Spine to sleep in, especially on Yulemas Day. He had four robot siblings to keep out of trouble after all.

“M-maybe we should g-g-g-go get him?” Rabbit suggested, that stutter never failing to force its way into a conversation.

In agreement, the robots started on their way to the Hall of Wires with the intention of forcibly booting him up. Rabbit and Jon could barely contain their excitement for another hour to the point where they were ready to burst. And burst robot isn’t exactly easy to clean up. The Spine had to get up whether he liked it or not. They were about to knock loudly on the door before they noticed a small note with immaculate handwriting pinned to the door. Spine’s handwriting.

‘Look outside in 5 minutes time.’

They raised a collective eyebrow before a shout came from downstairs.

“Guys! GUYS! You gotta come see this!” Steve yelled up at them.

Without any processing thought they rushed downstairs and out to the front garden. Their jaws dropped. The entire garden had been covered in glittering snow, an unusual weather pattern in San Diego owing to its warmth. And right in the middle was a red sleigh with an arrangement of robot reindeer.

“Ho ho ho! Merry Yulemas!” boomed a familiar voice.

“S-sp-spine?” Rabbit stammered in amazement.

The Spine emerged from the front of the sleigh in full Saint Pappers Claus gear, though his spindly frame made him look more like Jack Skellington than Saint Pappers if anything.

“Spine,” Peter VI interjected, “Where did you get…these?” He motioned at the reindeer.

“I err… I modified a few robo-guard-dog designs, does it matter? They look cool, right?” He beamed proudly, gesturing at the antlers and the red nose on the larger, more aggressive looking robo-dog at the front.

Peter VI sighed heavily. He was just hoping that there weren’t going to be any robot-cats nearby for the sake of that sleigh and its contents. It wasn’t often Spine got to gloat about his inventive genius outside of the band so he let this one slide, for once.

“And the snow? Did you modify a weather device too?” Peter continued. Boy was he being a Grinchy sourpuss this morning!

“Snow from the Land of Meh! Wasn’t that generous of them?” Spine smiled, “I hear you’ve all been very good boys, girls and robots this year so I have a special surprise for each of you!”

Rabbit, Jon and Upgrade practically squealed with delight whilst Hatchworth offered a semi appropriate golf clap. Remembering that the humans could actually feel the cold and were expressing this visibly, the bots turned up their boilers to create a small circle of warmth for them to sit down and open the presents Spine had handpicked for them all. The Walter workers took it upon themselves to bring the rest of the gifts out for convenience and neatly arranged them around the sleigh.

“S-s-s-so can w-we start!?” Rabbit was practically bouncing with delight.

Spine grinned widely. It was quite apparent his creative gesture had a positive effect on them all; even Hatchworth could hardly contain his excitement. He imagined Petes was somehow smiling under that mask of his, in spite of how much of a humbug he was at Yulemas.

“Oh alright,” he chuckled and rolled his optics, “But we take it in turns! Alright?”

The robots nodded enthusiastically as Spine took it upon himself to start handing out the gifts, though he insisted that his gifts for them all were saved for last and kept them in the burlap sack in the sleigh. What seemed relatively organised soon became a chaotic mess of ribbons, wrapping paper and labels. Although Hatchworth kindly offered to clean the mess up using his hatch, it was politely declined for obvious explanations. Every gift was a mix of fluffy toys (giraffes for Matter Master David and a rabbit for Matter Mistress Bunny, obviously!), musical items, DVD’s, assorted bath soaps, socks full of soup, a crate of crystal pepsi and silly hats.

“And now!” Spine interrupted the cacophony of giggles and teasing over the deliberately silly purchases like a box labelled ‘sense of humour’ for Peter VI, “I believe there are only my gifts left. So here’s one for each of you!”

One by one he handed the members of the household their own specially wrapped gift. They even had unique wrapping paper and ribbon for each of them. And of course Michael’s wrapping paper had to be purple. He practically invented that colour. Spine was right – they were perfect for each of them. Amongst the many perfectly tailored gifts, Upgrade got that pretty-princess make-up set she’d been pining for, Hatchworth got some fancy shoes at last and Jon received a spectacular sparking hula-hooping set.

“Rabbit? Aren’t you gonna open yours?” Michael looked over at Rabbit through his new purple goggles and winged-unicorn beanie.

“Yeah! We wanna know what you got!” Lil Steve yelled obnoxiously, charging around in his dragon-ninja onesie.

Rabbit gulped, knowing full well this was Spine’s opportunity for payback for all the diarrhoea jokes. And the diarrhoea medication he got in his stocking. And the toilet mug. Full of diarrhoea medication.

“Go on Rabbit,” he snickered with a wicked smirk spreading across his silver faceplates.

Rabbit carefully pried open the wrapping paper, which was unusual considered how quickly the other presents had been torn through like buttered toast. A long flat box tied neatly with thin black and red ribbons lay in a pristine rectangular chrysalis of similarly covered paper.

“Open it,” Spine persisted.

Easing the lid off, expecting a snap-bomb or something similar, Rabbit peeked at the contents. Mismatched optics went wide and the lid was held aloft in jittery copper hands.

“If it doesn’t fit, I can tailor it better. Or if…if you don’t like it I can always take it back,” Spine was hesitant to mention he’d actually made it himself according to Rabbit’s mechanical specs.

“I-i-i-t’s…it’s…”

Concerned Rabbit was having a malfunction, Spine kneeled next to his copper sibling ready to reboot as necessary or tighten a loose cog.

“It’s BEAUTIFUL!!” Rabbit threw both arms around The Spine’s neck and burst into tears. Happy tears. That dress was something Rabbit had always wanted.

Spine chuckled lovingly and returned the hug, “It’s not quite how it looks in your sketches, but I hoped you’d like it. I tried my best. And it’ll stretch to accommodate your upcoming chassis upgrade. Even if it isn’t perfect…”

“Spine,” Rabbit interrupted, completely free of stutters it seemed, “It IS perfect. Thank you so much!”

Rabbit buried an oily face further into Spine’s shoulder and continued to hold him tighter.

“Hey come on now, you’re staining the suit! This thing isn’t easy to clean you know,” he teased and gently ruffled Rabbit’s fluffy bandana.

“S-sorry” Rabbit sniffed and sat back up slightly, wiping the oil with the sleeves of her Yulemas jammies.

“Nuthin’ to be sorry about at all, pardner. I knew how much you wanted it. And how it’d make you happy. You deserve to feel pretty after all. And you always have been too, don’t forget that.”

Rabbit couldn’t help but smile at this. Not much could top that kind of a good deed.

“Spine,” Michael interjected, “You went through all this trouble for all of us, to get all these gifts you knew would be perfect for us. How did you know?”

“I’m a super spy, remember?” Spine winked, tapping his metal nose. An obvious reference to the 5 minute poop joke ‘Go Spine Go’.

“With pretty cool gadgets to topple governments and the like!” Hatchworth chimed in and flew over to hug his dear Spine. Jon and Upgrade were quick to follow suit and poor Spine ended up at the bottom of a cuddle puddle. Not that he minded. It was nice to be appreciated this much.

It was a truly heart-warming sight for all to see. The robot siblings who were so often bickering, teasing each other and causing mayhem around the manor were brought together by such a selfless and carefully planned gesture. The humans smiled widely and went over to add themselves to the pile of sprawling limbs.

~*~

Everyone started heading inside out of the cold, their arms full of gifts and the air thick with chatter and laughter. The robots took it upon themselves to clear up the mess of wrapping paper and stuffed it into the burlap sack. Steve came back out to check on how they were doing until something caught his eye.

“Hey Spine?”

“Yeah, Steve?”

“You forgot a present there,” he pointed at a small white box with blue ribbon at the back of the sleigh.

“Who’s th-that for?” Rabbit queried.

Spine’s smile faded.

“Spine? Is someone missing a present?” Jon asked.

They noticed Spine’s expression and were suddenly full of concern.

“That…I… I have to go,” Spine grabbed the present and ran off before anyone could oppose his departure.

“Should we, like, follow him?” Hatchworth proposed.

The robots and Steve looked at each other before following Hatchy’s suggestion. Michael, Matt, Petes and the Walter workers noticed them running off and decided to pursue them as well.

Rabbit was putting out a lot of steam to keep up with Spine but to no avail. He was too fast for them to keep up with.

“H-*huff*-hey! Slow down, Silver Surfer!” Rabbit yelled into the distance.

“Where’d ya think he’s going?” Jon pondered.

They headed up the hill and as they reached the brow they soon realised where Spine had gone. The Walter family cemetery. They carefully picked their way down the snow covered knoll and headed in through the wrought iron gates.

Not too long after they headed in the humans caught up with them, breathless. Petes was hanging limply from Steve’s side, barely able to stand. “I do science, not sport, alright!” he shot what they imagined to be an angry look from underneath his keyhole mask. Steve simply rolled his eyes. They spotted Rabbit, Hatchworth, Jon and Upgrade stood quietly ahead.

“Hey! You guys!” Michael called out to them cheerily.

The automatons said nothing. They hardly moved. Concerned, the humans moved forward and joined them

“Hey, you okay?” Matt tapped Rabbit on the shoulder.

They still said nothing. They just stared ahead. The humans followed their line of vision and saw Spine towering over a grave.

Pappy’s grave.

“Oh God, Spine…” Steve went to move forward to join Spine before being stopped by a bronze arm.

“Let him be,” Hatchworth simply stated.

They all nodded and stood back with the robot siblings and watched cautiously as Spine stood solemnly and silently. He stooped down and left the small box at the gravestone.

“Merry Yulemas, dad,” he whispered and planted a kiss on the stone, “I made this for you. I hope you like it.”

He sat back on his heels and smiled gently before rising to his feet and turned to leave. He didn’t even acknowledge his unexpected audience. He simply stalked quietly out of the cemetery and returned to the house. The robots crept to the grave, curious as to what Spine had left there. It was the small white box Spine had left in the sleigh, decorated with a simple blue ribbon around the side.

Rabbit cocked her head to one side, peering at the strange item “It’s got a lock. And a k-key. M-m-maybe it opens up?”

“Rabbit!! I’m surprised at you!” Hatchworth folded his arms indignantly across his hatch.

“W-what!? I’m sure P-pappy would wanna know what it is too. And… and he kinda needs a lil help opening it…” Rabbit got defensive then trailed off quietly. Hatchworth relaxed and nodded with understanding.

“What do you think it is?” Upgrade asked.

“Maybe something sparkly?” Jon suggested.

“N-n-n-nah that’s stupid, T’ Jon. Pappy never liked s-s-sparkly st-tuff.”

“Well let’s open it and see?” Hatchworth piped up.

Rabbit carefully turned the key and the lid sprang open suddenly, making them jump a little. Using a gentle copper finger, Rabbit pushed the lid all the way up and they all went wide-eyed.

Gentle music started playing. A tiny spinning dancer painted to look like Delilah eased upright. It was a song they’d heard before, but many many years ago. It was a song little Wanda had taught herself, back when she still had blond hair and brown eyes. And Pappy always loved it.

As the music finished, they sat back. Rabbit’s optics were stained with oil. “Sp-pine really di-di-did think of everything didn’t he?”

They all nodded quietly and headed back to the manor with the humans.

~*~

Spine was in the kitchen checking up on the hotdogs, burgers and Yulemas roast humming a jolly little tune to himself. He’d changed into his usual shirt, vest, tie and slacks but still donned the long Pappers Claus hat. A festive touch. He precariously lifted the roast out of the oven and went to bring it to the dining hall. He jumped nearly seven feet when he was met with the sight of everyone stood behind him, thankfully catching the roast before it dropped on the floor.

“Where did you guys pop up from?” he laughed nervously, setting the roast down on the counter to calm his nerves a little.

The robots didn’t say anything. Spine’s smile faded and he cocked his head to the side, noticing their heads were drooped, “You guys alright?”

They moved forward and hugged The Spine in unison. He was quite taken back by this, unsure of what to say and unable to return the hug as his arms were clamped tightly to his side by his sibling’s vice like grasp.

“P-pappy says thank you,” Rabbit finally piped up, nuzzling Spine’s chest.

Spine’s optics went wide for a moment. His usual smirk then quickly returned and cracked into a silly grin.

“Well, after everything we’ve been through, we all deserve a good Yulemas, right?” Spine murmured affectionately.

“But we got you such stupid gifts! And you did all of this…” Jon whined.

Spine laughed, “You think I care about presents? I’ve already got the best ones anyway. I have all of you.”

They looked up at Spine’s warm expression.

“And besides, with all the diarrhoea meds, I won’t be having any problems with the Yulemas roast this year. C’mon. Let’s go eat, eh?”

Of course the robots weren’t going to eat, but the mulled wine flavoured water they were drinking and turkey infused oil was enough for them. Rabbit had changed into the new dress Spine had made her, Upgrade was wearing her pretty princess getup, Hatchy was swinging his feet in the fancy new shoes and Jon was bouncing in his seat with the hula-hoops slung round his shoulders. The entire room felt warm, homely and full of life and colour.

“Hey, The Sp-spine?”

“Yeah, Rabbit?”

Rabbit leaned over and hugged her brother tightly, “Merry Yulemas.”

Spine smiled widely and eagerly returned the hug, “Merry Yulemas, Rabbit.”


-End-